Ganon Slayer

[Intro]

[Verse 1]

I roll through Hyrule, swinging my blade
I've got mad rupees, hella paid
And I'm on a quest... to eliminate Ganon
Some say I'm a loose cannon
Just because I like to throw my swords
And leave them stuck dead in your vocal chords?
That don't mean you have to hate
Extinguishing evil is my fate
So I roam the land, every day and night
Looking for adventure, looking to fight
Ganon is a wizard, but I am much greater
My name is Link and I'm the hater exterminator
Don't test me... I come hard
Don't make me put you with the ghosts in the graveyard
North... West... South... West...
Secret passageways in the forest, yes
I gotta get that Triforce back
Or the kingdom will think I'm hella wack - Check it
Don't think I'm a let that happen
I sword fight just as good as I'm rappin'
Miss Zelda is my lust
To win the princess over... I must
Wipe the darkness from these lands
I won't stop 'til I got Ganon's blood on my hands

[Speech]

That's right, fool! I'm coming for your pig-faced ass
Ain't nothing gonna stop me, nothing
You send your best henchman... the Triforce is mine
... Motherfucker

[Verse 2]

I stop to ask for directions
From an old man in a secret dungeon section
But this is what the old man spoke:
"Dodongo dislikes smoke." What the fuck?
I guess I'm better off... by myself
Killing my enemies, stealing their wealth
And I'm saving up... for expensive things
Arrows, potions, and power rings
All you Moblins ain't worth a dime
And Octoroks aren't worth my time
Lots of people are scared of spiders, right?
Well, I ain't scared of no god damned Tektite
Bring it on, bitch, bring it on
Once I find you, you won't last long
Make fun of my tunic... I ain't mad
The healing fairies all think I'm rad
Beat me, torture me, cut me up
I'll feel up a fairy and she'll heal me up
I'm unstoppable... You can't win
Even if I die, I'll come back again
So bring your monsters... they can die too
Ganon... I'm coming for you

[Narrator]

So, Link continued his journey...
Into the catacombs of Death Mountain...
Wherein lied his ultimate fate:
To face Ganon... and return the Triforce... to Hyrule

[Verse 3]

I hack and I slash and I stab and I cut
When I finally find Ganon, I will fuck him up
But the dungeon's a maze and I am getting lost
But I will find that bastard, no matter the cost
Digdogger was mean, but I pulled out my bow
I shot him in the eye with a silver arrow
A Darknut is nothing but a stain on my sword
These weak little creatures are leaving me bored
So I keep on walking 'til I find me a map
And I light my candle and I head down the path
And I hack and I slash and I kick some more ass
My health is now dropping, how long will I last?
I drank my last potion, my mouth is so dry
And I'm bleeding so much that I fear I might die
But I will not give up, and on that, you can bet
That I will save this kingdom, this ain't over yet

[Hook]

Good versus evil... No rest
Death Mountain... My quest?
Journey to the underground lair
My name is Link, I'm the Ganon Slayer
Good versus evil... No rest
Death Mountain... My quest?
Journey to the underground lair
My name is Link, I'm the Ganon Slayer

[Verse 4]

I found heart containers with a bit of luck
And I use my compass so I'm no longer stuck
Now I'm outside the lair of my enemy
So I focus my hate to build more energy
I kicked down the door... but to my surprise
Ganon disappeared right before my very eyes
So I stood there and froze in the deep of the dark
The only sound was the beating of my heart
But I sensed a movement behind me, so I swung
With my Master Sword and I guess it must have stung
Cause Ganon lay hurt as he fell to the floor
Then I shot about twelve arrows into that whore
Now Ganon is dead and the Triforce is back
And I am a hero, Zelda is on her back
I ended my quest in the princess so deep
I busted my nut and then I fell asleep

[Hook]

Good versus evil... No rest
Death Mountain... My quest?
Journey to the underground lair
My name is Link, I'm the Ganon Slayer
Good versus evil... No rest
Death Mountain... My quest?
Journey to the underground lair
My name is Link, I'm the Ganon... Slayer
... Slayer

[Commerical]

Watch Zelda become a legend on the Nintendo Entertainment System
"Zeldaaaaaaa! Woowoowoowooeeeeek! Octorocs!"
"Which. Way. To. Go? Blblbl Tektites!"
"Haha... Psh psh psh pew psh psh ah! Psh! ... P-P-Peahats! ... Leeeeeverrrrs!"
"Aaaaaaaagh! Zelda? Zelda?! Zelda?"
The Legend of Zelda... a nevernding adventure, new for your Nintendo Entertainment System
"ZELDAAAA?!"