Diamond Joe

There is a man you'll hear about

Most every place you go.

His holdings are in Texas,

And his name is Diamond Joe.

And he carries all his money

In a diamond-studded jaw.

And he never was much bothered

By the process of the law.



I hired out to Diamond Joe, boys,

I did offer him my hand.

And he give me a string of horses

So old they could not stand.

I like to starve to death, boys,

He did mistreat me so.

Never saved a dollar

In the pay of Diamond Joe.



Well, his bread it was corn dodger,

His meat I couldn't chaw.

And he drove me near distracted

With the waggin' of his jaw.

Oh, the tellin' of his stories,

I aim to let you know,

There never was a rounder

That lied like Diamond Joe.



Well, I tried three times to quit him, boys,

But he did argue so,

That I'm still punchin' cattle

In the pay of Diamond Joe.

And when I'm called up yonder,

And it comes my time to go,

Give my blankets to my buddies,

And give the fleas to Diamond Joe.